Desire is an interesting thing. It can be a fuel, a motivator. With enough desire and will, people can do what they previously thought was impossible. That being said, like other potentially strong emotions, desire can do a great deal of harm if not balanced. And in the season where our society attempts to grow and “harvest” our desire for material goods, this topic seemed appropriate.
What do I mean by grow and harvest? Okay, think about it. For anyone who has created a wish list or other form of gift request, or had noted in seasons that they bought something they wouldn’t have during an off-holiday season… How much do/did you want these things when you requested or bought them? How much did, or might, feelings change over time? The time test can be a litmus test for how much we want or need something. Just like waiting a bit after eating to see if you really do want that cookie after all. Advertising builds and makes it harder to ignore these desires, and things like Black Friday and Cyber Monday give us excuses.
A Jedi is not immune to desire. I found myself feeling guilty this past week because my husband was able make the statement during this holiday season that he didn’t want to receive presents. I chose not to change the status quo this late in the season since everyone we were planning to exchange with had already done their present-obtaining. And I had cut down some of the items I only loosely wanted. But I felt guilty because there WERE things that I wanted. Some things practical, some things beautiful.
I haven’t found the answer for myself yet. I am strongly considering for birthday and holiday next year to not request anything, just plan something social / experiential. I love handmade gifts – giving and receiving, but I wouldn’t want to make someone feel obligated to make something if that weren’t their interest. I did make some handmade items to supplement gifts this year (holiday soap, photo book, etc). I know that done in the right spirit and without excess, gift giving can be a good thing, strengthening social bonds. Reaching that ideal, and having it be unpressured, stress-free, ethically-produced, etc can be really tough though.
For example, there are a lot of unseen costs in the mainstream goods we’re sold. It’s challenging to figure these out with the global economy we live in, where we often don’t even know where our food came from. There’s a thought exercise involving tracing a thing you have or want, or even an item of food, back to its origins, tracing it construction, source of its components, and so on back and back and back until you find where it started from. Many products cross state and country lines, and even go back and forth between countries over the course of their production. Hidden humanitarian costs can occur along the way – child labor, sweatshops, etc.
We don’t have to “counter” desire, but I do think we have to manage it and be mindful of acting on it. I propose as a way to do this: really analyze things that we want. What is motivating wanting this thing? What are the hidden costs, if any? If this item were more expensive, would you still get it? Are there sustainable alternatives (and don’t forget reduce/reuse/repair/repurpose/recycle…)? And before we actually purchase something, a silent query of “why now,” looking at our emotional state, hunger, peer pressure, and advertising pressure.
Jedi Shield 